MURPHY'S LAW Ice cream makes everything better

By Patrick Murphy

Each time the dogs went back to the exam room I would eventually hear them yelp.

They were having their anal glands expressed.

Every time I hear that phrase it strikes me that is not how I usually use the word expressed.

It basically means Penny’s and Ollie’s anal glands are full, and the vet needs to empty them or “express” them.

Their anal glands secret small amounts but not enough, so every few months we take them to the vet to get their nails trimmed and anal glands expressed.

You can probably figure how the vet does it, and I’m sure no one went to veterinary school thinking that would be part of their job.

As you can imagine, the dogs do not enjoy it.

Ollie went first while I held onto Penny’s leash. 

Ollie yelped, and Penny looked at me as if to say, “Is that going to happen to me?”

When Ollie came out he was still upset. He kept barking and barking, which was the equivalent of cursing me, so I took him to the car, and came back to get Penny.

I listened as she yelped, and when the assistant brought her out he told me her glands were full. I figured.

I made it up to them by taking them for a couple of “pup cups,” which is ice cream for those of you who don’t have dogs to spoil.

We do love our dogs, and we do spoil them more than we ever did with our kids.

We subscribe to a service that delivers monthly toys and treats to Penny and Ollie.

They have more toys than some kids, and they don’t really care about them that much.

I think my wife and I get more excited when their Bark Box is delivered than they do. They play with the toys for a little while, leave them all over the house and then ignore them.

After the newness wears off the only time they pick up the toys is when one of us gets home, and they bring one to us. 

Now, bones are another thing. They love the bones we get them, and chewing on bones takes up a large part of their day.

The only problem is my wife insists on buying them quite often, so there are a lot of bones in our house, and when we pick them up and put them away, Ollie will stand in front of the plastic tub they are in and bark and bark. He will not pick out a bone, he has to have all of the bones emptied out on the floor, so he can pick his favorite. Spoiled.

I’m sure all dog owners have similar stories. We all love our dogs, and even when they have to have routine checkups that cause them some grief, we try and make it up to them with treats. Ice cream makes everything better.

Patrick Murphy, editor-publisher of the Humphrey Democrat and Newman Grove Reporter in Nebraska, is a former assistant managing editor at The Telegram.