Opinion

Dear Amy: When my wife was a teenager, a 20-something man she knew in her social circle became obsessed with her. He kept calling her and would mainly whine about his life.

The beauty of memories is that we shape them as time goes by. We can paint them in any colors we like because they are memories, and the realities can fade or take on any shape we give them.

Dear Amy: What words of advice would you have for addressing someone who is in a public place having a very public, loud, and personal phone conversation on their Bluetooth earbuds (or cellphones in general)?

Dear Amy: Many years ago, when I was in my early 20s, I dated a guy and fell in love. He broke up with me very abruptly and I was extremely broken-hearted.

Dear Amy: Since wedding season seems to be ramping up, I have a question about destination weddings. My goddaughter and her fiance have decided to marry in a very faroff foreign location this spring.

Dear Amy: I have been friends with “Susan” for over 35 years. I have shared many extremely sensitive and delicate problems with her.

Dear Amy: Is there a way that a wedding invitation addressed to my wife and me and our 40-year-old single son could be changed to a “plus one” invitation so my son could bring his serious girlfriend of twoplus years to the wedding?

Dear Amy: I’m a sixth-grade girl in middle school, and I love your column. I finally started to become confident, but something that happened a couple of days ago struck me down. I got dress-coded by my teacher because I wore a shirt that had cutouts on the shoulders. We can’t wear cropped shirts or shirts with spaghetti straps. This wasn’t any of those things – it was just a no-shoulder shirt. My teacher pulled me aside and said, “You can’t wear that.’’ I was confused. She then stated all the things she noticed about my outfit, like she had been watching me. I felt so embarrassed and self-conscious. When I got back to class, I started researching dress codes and realized how sexist they are. Dress codes only attack girls and sexualize what we wear. (Teachers break the dress code all the time, too, by the way.) When I got dress-coded it made me feel like I went to school in the morning to attract boys, and for girls to think I’m hot or something. It makes kids feel ashamed of their bodies and skin, and it makes them get made fun of. To protest against this, I want to write a letter to the principal. I just want to know before I do – am I in the right or should I simply leave the dress code alone because the dress code is doing what it should? I have never seen a boy get dress coded for wearing so called “inappropriate clothing.” – Dress-coded Dear Dresscoded: Being called out like this by your teacher was tough for you. I think that your response is completely appropriate. Dress codes are designed for a very good reason. The overall intention from a group of adults is to design a way for children to be less distracted by their wardrobes so they can focus on their education. One good thing dress codes do is to help to take the pressure off of some kids who might not have the resources to dress in trendy styles. The code sets a basic standard for the entire school, and yes – kids should understand and respect the standards their school has

Every time I look at my daughter, Claire, I see this little girl who is growing into a mommy. Her tiny hands used to fit inside mine, and in April she will have little hands that fit inside hers.

Dear Amy: I’m a woman previously in a relationship with a man for more than 10 years that ended badly. He was married and divorced twice before and had three adult children, all of whom I loved and who loved me. Toward the end of the relationship, I kept catching him in lies. He finally confessed to having been addicted to serious drugs. He was in a 12-step recovery program, which I wholeheartedly supported. I asked how he’d gotten started, and he gave me answers that rang false, but I felt I had to accept his answers because talking about it made him angry. I later discovered that he’d been sleeping with men without my knowledge, putting my sexual health in jeopardy. He also acknowledged that he is gender-fluid, which I accepted. Nonetheless, we broke up, as I felt I could not trust him to give me honest answers about our future. He was not the man I first fell in love with. He had alienated me and his entire family. By the end of our relationship, we were barely speaking. Fast-forward three years, and he has become involved with a woman over 40 years younger than himself who lives in Indonesia. She is Muslim, and he has said “it feels so right” to be with her. My question: Is it my business to tell her of his past? I doubt he will tell her he sleeps with men, as he lied to his wives just as he lied to me (as I learned too late). If it’s none of my business, I’ll step aside and perhaps watch this trusting young woman’s heart get broken. What do you think? – Learned too Late Dear Learned too Late: Yes, this is none of your business. But yes, you should tell this woman of your former partner’s sexual history. My caveat is that the presumption here is that the muchyounger woman is vulnerable, but who knows? – maybe he’s the vulnerable one. Have these two met in person? Maybe he’s being catfished by a guy named Stan who lives in Milwaukee. If you have contact with her, you should privately pass along your concerns about her sexual health. And