The process has just started, and I can hardly wait until it is over.
We're moving. That's the good part.
We're bringing all our stuff with us. That's the bad part.
Every time someone moves, they utter these words: "I can't believe how much stuff we have."
My wife and I have been saying those words at least every other day.
We have started packing up the non-essentials, and when you get right down to it, that's most of the things we own.
In an effort to de-clutter our home in Columbus, Neb., in order to make it more appealing to the next owner, we are boxing up our stuff, and need to rent a storage shed (the size of Kansas) to house this stuff until we officially become Humphrey, Neb., residents.
That's a lot of packing and moving boxes and moving boxes again.
My wife and I have been married for almost 25 years, so that's 25 years of stuff. We have a 21-year-old daughter and an 18-year-old son. That's even more stuff.
We have a dog and a cat, and they're not moving themselves, so whatever cute toys we thought they couldn't live without — even though they have proven they can — we're moving.
You do not realize what you spend your money on over the years until you have to move it.
There should be warning labels on toys and knick-knacks that state: "Unless you can stick this in your pocket on moving day, don't buy it."
My problem is I am a collector.
Shortly after my wife and I married, my mother decided she no longer wanted my old Sports Illustrateds taking up space she could use for her stuff in her home.
Ridiculous, right? Who doesn't need every Sports Illustrated printed in 1977? You never know when you might want to reread some article, or at least look at the pictures — even though I never did.
So I threw most of them away. Then my wife decided I really didn't need to keep every issue I was accumulating since our marriage, so I throw them out regularly now. See, I can be trained.
But every once in a while, I will come across an old issue that I did save, look through it and wonder why I kept it. I still don't throw those issues away because it may come back to me some day about why I needed it.
I also used to collect Pez candy dispensers. Who doesn't like candy that pops out of Batman's neck?
That would be something I could put in my pocket on moving day, except we have like 300 of them, and I don't have that many pockets.
Like I said, I'm a collector.
I have baseball cards and autographed pictures, signed baseballs and these sports figurines my daughter mockingly calls dolls.
College kid, what does she know?
So now it's time to move all this stuff.
Everything has to be taken off its shelves, put in boxes, mark the boxes, carry the boxes to our vehicles, drive it some place new, unload it, unpack and decide whether it's worth displaying again.
I can tell you that we are planning on making this our last stop. And if we should have to move again, someone is going to get a house full of our stuff.
Patrick Murphy, of Columbus, Neb., is a former assistant managing editor of The Telegram.